My Ex Claimed My Kid: Now What Do I Do?

What to do if an ex spouse claims your chlid for taxes

It’s a hassle if someone else claims your child on their tax return, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up.

 

This happens to people all the time.  You go to electronically file your tax return and it gets rejected because someone else has already claimed your child.  What do you do?  I say fight back, and here’s how.

 

The first step to fighting back is to make sure that you’re in the right.  Ask yourself these questions:

 

1.  Are you the biological parent of the child?  Hint:  if your answer is “I’ve raised her like my own.”  You’re going to have trouble winning.  If you’re a grandparent, step parent, aunt or uncle; and the person who claimed the child is the actual parent, you don’t stand much of a chance.  (That said, some folks will have a credible case, but I’d suggest professional help here because it is tricky.)  To go this route you should be the real parent.

 

2.  Did the child live with you all year?  If not all year, for at least over half of the year?  If you had custody all year you have a much better shot of winning.  You absolutely must have had custody for over half of the year to even think of trying this.  If you’re on the border line, where your ex had the child for half the year and you had half, this might not be worth it.

 

3.  Is this good for your child?  Generally you’d think that having more money in the household would be good for your child, but if fighting with your ex could cause harm to your child, you might want to stop and think about it a bit.

 

Step two.  Once you’ve determined that you are in the right and that you are entitled to claim your child, then what you need to do is print out, sign and mail that rejected return to the IRS —keeping your child as your dependent on the tax return.  When you do this, the IRS has to take it in.  They have to look at it and it’s going to throw whoever claimed your child into an audit.  If an Earned Income Tax Credit is involved then those audit papers generally run 11 to 22 pages long.  (11 pages for a straight EIC audit, 22 for an EIC and head of household audit, they’re the same questions it’s just that 22 pages is more intimidating.)

 

Here’s the scary part, you’re going to get the same paperwork.  It is a little intimidating, but you’re expecting it.  Because you’re the custodial parent, that is your child lives with you, you can answer those questions with no problem.  People who shouldn’t be claiming your kids can’t answer the questions and that’s why you’ll win.  If your kids are in school, you’ll need a document from the school saying they attend and where they live.  If they’re too young for school, you can get a statement from the doctor’s office that you’re their parent and you pay their medical bills.  You’ll have the resources to prove that you’re the parent.

 

If you’re reading this and thinking, “I can’t prove I have custody of my kids,” then maybe you shouldn’t be filing for them.  You will have to provide some proof:  school records, doctor’s files, church documents, day care receipts, health insurance records, something professional.   Your Mom or a friend can’t vouch for you.

 

Once you’ve received the audit papers, completed them and sent them back, then it’s a waiting game.  Your ex (or whoever claimed your child) will have to complete the same paperwork.  The IRS will examine the papers and determine who had the proper right to claim your child.  But since it’s you, you will win.

 

The big downside to this is that it will take months to settle.  Months.  On the upside, once your ex has lost an audit case for claiming your child, it will be very difficult to ever try it again.  You’re not just solving a problem for one year, you’re preventing future problems as well.

 

What if you need the money now?  That’s the most common question.  Sorry, but that’s impossible.  What you’ve lost, you can’t get back without a fight.  If you have more than one child, and only one was claimed incorrectly, you could file now and at least get part of your refund, then file an amended return later.  I don’t recommend doing that, but I also understand sometimes you need the cash now.

 

If you try doing this as an amended return there are two consequences:  first, it will slow everything down even more.  You can’t file an amended return until your first return is completely processed.  An amended return will take about 16 weeks to run through the system before the whole audit process begins so you’re basically adding 4 to 5 months to the timeline for solving this issue.  Second, filing a return and amending to add a child reduces your credibility with the IRS.  Your documentation had better be rock solid because you will have no wiggle room for doubt if you submit an amended return to claim your child.

 

One more thing to consider before you go through with this.  Call your ex and talk it out.  I’m not crazy, hear me out.  You’ve read this far, you know that fighting is a big hassle.  Before you go into warrior mode, maybe you can negotiate a peace treaty.  What do you stand to gain from this?  What does your ex stand to gain?  It’s important that you file your returns legally, but with divorced or never married couples, you can split an exemption:  the custodial parent claims head of household and EIC, the non-custodial parent claims the child tax credit and the exemption.  It could be a good thing for both of you and for your child.  (Remember, what’s best for the child?)  Instead of going to war, you have your ex amend his/her return and you file your return right after the amendment is accepted.  It still is slow, but much faster than going through an audit.  And it’s a peaceful solution.  (Please, don’t even think of trying this if your ex is dangerous.  Safety first.)

 

Finding out that someone else has claimed your child for taxes can be shocking and financially devastating.  The assumption is usually that it’s the ex, but that’s not always the case.   When you file to claim your child, you will never be told who the other person is.  (Of course, if it’s your ex you’ll probably get an unfriendly phone call so you’ll know.)  It’s scary how often it’s not the ex, though.  Be sure to protect your child’s social security number.  Don’t keep the card in your purse.  Don’t share the social security number with anyone.  Your child needs your protection.  It’s hard enough being a kid, being a kid with a stolen identity is worse.

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Note:  Here are some links that might help:

EIC questions of any kind:  http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Earned-Income-Tax-Credit-(EITC)-%E2%80%93–Use-the-EITC-Assistant-to-Find-Out-if-You-Should-Claim-it.

How to find free tax preparers:  http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Free-Tax-Return-Preparation-for-You-by-Volunteers

How to find your local IRS office:  http://www.irs.gov/uac/Contact-Your-Local-IRS-Office-1

 

1,305 thoughts on “My Ex Claimed My Kid: Now What Do I Do?

  1. He also gets insurance through the state. I don’t know if that matters. I’m also pretty sure my ex has my son on state insurance in az so he can get free healthcare as well. I don’t know if he can use that in his audit to ‘prove’ he has custody.

  2. So I’ve got a few years long problem. Sorry. So my ex and I were only together until my son was 4 months old. He’s been in my sole custody since then. By the time it was time to do taxes for 2012 my son was 9 months. I didn’t work and since I moved in with my parents I let them claim the both of us as dependants. But my ex filed first and they couldn’t. He also filed for me and when he got the check, my name was also on it. In the meantime I had moved to another state. I tried to report him for claiming a child he shouldn’t have but the IRS just said ‘It goes to whoever files first.’Then he got ‘our’ check. He couldn’t do anything with it without me, so he ordered a copy of my ID and had his sister impersonate me and sign my name. I turned in a formal report on that but never heard back. The next year I filed as head of house and claimed my son. But my taxes were rejected and I wasn’t notified. By the time I found out it was well past the deadline. This year I knew I had to file ASAP but my previous employer was really late sending out my W2. I filed online and they were immediately rejected. I don’t plan on this happening again. The website I went to said to correct the error and refile. It didn’t give me an option to continue anyway. How should I proceed?

  3. Hi Natalie,
    I think you should read this: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2012/01/court-ordered-exemptions-and-the-irs/

    Yes, you’ll win, but you might want to reconsider. All he gets is the exemption–that’s worth at the most $2000, most like less.

    You still keep Head of household and EIC. And you did get your child support payment.

    If he only gets the exemption every three years–how much money is the child support versus this one tax exemption?

    Now, if he claimed head of household or EIC–then I’d fight. But if he did things right–I’d rather have the child support than risk losing it forever.

    You would win, but what exactly are you winning? Think before battle. Yes, he’s a jerk, yes he paid late. But at least you got paid. And at least he still sees your child. What’s best for your child? Let that guide you.

  4. Hi Carlos,
    It sounds like you spent 11 months with your son, but your ex spent 12 months with him. She would win in a fight. My suggestion–make nice with her and work out a deal. It’s a pain in the behind to file a paper return and go through the audit. Talk nice and maybe you two can strike a deal. Good luck.

  5. Hi David B,
    You said the words that will lose you the case–primary residence is with her. The girls my be with you 50% of the time, but it sounds like they sleep at their mom’s house more often. You don’t live in the school district. I think you’ll lose this fight if you go after it. Sorry.

  6. Hi Jordyn,
    You’ll just have to wait. It’s going to take time as the IRS is really behind on the amended returns. You could try paper filing and attach a copy of the father’s amended return showing that he took your child off–but I don’t know if that will move things along any faster or not. Sorry.

  7. Hi Ben B,
    You can claim the one child as a dependent, but not for head of household or EIC purposes. Anything more than that is going to be an uphill battle. Good luck.

  8. First of all, just want to say, your website has already been super helpful ! 🙂
    Here’s my situation, I’m pretty sure I’m already in the right, but extra reassurance never hurts. My daughter lives with me full time, I have full physical and legal custody according to our Divorce Agreement. My Ex lives in another state, so my daughter visits one weekend a month and a couple weeks during her school break. The AZ Judge ruled that although my daughter lives with me the majority of the year (well over half) and that my EX was ordered to pay peanuts in child support, that he still gets to claim her tax credit every 3rd year. However, the requirement is that he cannot be delinquent in child support by the end of the year. He’s been late every month this year so it was no surprise that by December 31, he was a full month behind in child support. I contacted him to remind him of the requirements and notified him that because he didn’t meet those requirements I was going to claim her on my taxes. He acted like he understood, but of course when I went to file my taxes I found out he beat me to it and so mine were rejected. Of course I called and asked why he still claimed her and he told me his Tax Preparer said that he should still claim her because he had “good intentions” ?? He made a payment on Jan 9 which retro-ed back to cover December, and then January’s payment didn’t come until the end of the month. His statement to me was, “You still got all your money for the year, didn’t you.”
    I have the court paperwork and a ledger from the department of Child Support reflecting his balance owed at the end of December so I am prepared for the audit. Is there anything else I should know? And any indication on how long this will take? I know you said “months” are we talking 6 month? 12 months? I have also seen a form you can submit to Report someone that you know of who is wrongfully claiming a dependent. Any advise on that?
    I appreciate any input. Thanks again!!

  9. I claimed my son on my tax return, me and his mother separated about 4 months ago. We lived together 11 months of 2014. I was the only one working throughout the year, now our son is 4 days with his mom, and 3 days with me. Now she’s threatening to claim him on her taxes after already been claimed by me. What can happen in this case? So stressful.

  10. I have been seperated from my wife for two years now. We are not legally seperated or divorced as she has drug me through family court for the last two years. The first year we were “seperated” she claimed both my daughters on her taxes. We both had my girls 50% of the time. This year I went to file and claim both my girls and my return was rejected because she decided she had the right to claim both girls again. Again, for this whole year we had 50% custody. Through family court we have joint custody. Primary residence with her, but we each have equal time with my girls. I carry the health insurance for the girls, Pay 90% of the medical expenses and pay 90% of daily things my girls need. I receive all documentation from the school my girls attend. I do not live in my girls school district. Do I have any grounds to fight for any of this tax return and have them place an audit on her? Unfortunatelly nothing states who gets to claim the girls in our custody papers and like I stated we have no legal seperation or divorce. So who has the right to claim? And if one claims does the other have the right to fight it? I’m pretty sure she claimed head of household and the EIC (even tho she lives with her mother) and both girls, because I was informed she got a lot back from my girls. Does she have the right to claim head of household and EIC while living under someone elses roof, not paying rent or mortgage? And if I already filed my taxes, can I still try to have an audit placed on her and recoup some of my money?

  11. hi my ex husband claimed our son this year and it wasn’t his year he got his taxes amended but it is still rejecting mine when I try to file with my son what do I need to do or do I just need to wait ??

  12. I have a four year old daughter. Her father and I were never married and we are not together. He is on the birth certificate. There is no court order in place giving him rights to her. My daughter is in my care and has been since birth. The father does not pay child support and he does not see her. He claimed her on taxes this year and last year as well. He did this without consent. I filed her on my taxes and had to mail them in because he had already did an E file. I went ahead and filed for an amendment for last years taxes as well. What are my chances of getting this corrected? I cant understand how someone could file on a child they do not see, pay child support on or have legal court papers stating paternity rights.

  13. Hi, My ex wife filed her taxes before I did. We have 2 children and we both agreed that we would claim one child each. She claimed one as a dependent and filed our other as non dependent but received EIC on both children. She claims it was an accident but refuses to file an amendment now that she has the money in hand. She refuses to work with me as far as just paying me the difference. Is there anything I can do since she only claimed one child as a dependent? Are there any avenues I can take to be able to receive EIC on my child that I am claiming as a dependent? Obviously it won’t let me claim EIC due to both children’s ssn where already filed for EIC. Please let me know if I have any options.
    Thank you

  14. Hi Casey,
    The IRS only looks at where the child lived. Who did your child live with in 2014. How many days with you? How many days with dad? Everything else you said, although it is all important to you and your family–is not important to the IRS. They don’t care that you need the money They don’t care that you claimed last year. They don’t care about your ex-s girlfriend’s kid.
    So–take all that other stuff out of the picture. Who did your child live with?

    If it wasn’t you–let it go. If it was you, then you can fight. But before you fight–maybe you should talk things over with the ex–can you come to a compromise? You did claim two years in a row when you should alternate every year. Now you want to claim a third year in a row?

    What all are you planning on claiming? EIC or just the exemption? What do you have a right to claim?

    But the hardest part is taking everything else out of the equation–because the IRS doesn’t want to hear it. You gotta build your case on where your child lives.

  15. Hi Clarissa,
    Your court order is dated 2009 so your paperwork won’t do the trick with the IRS. You need for the ex to sign the 8332 allowing you to claim the exemption for the odd years. If she won’t sign, you may need to take her back to court.

  16. I have a question. So I am divorced with joint custody. I just moved this past year, 5 hrs away and I filed for my 5 year old to live with me full time during school year and spend holidays/summer with his dad; in which it is still legally joint custody. But this wasnt put into effect until end of 2014, possibly finalized 2015. I have yet to claim child support for the costs for most of his life, but just opened and am starting a case.
    Well I believe we had our divorce decree state we should alternate every year in claiming our child. We split the first year, then I claimed, then he claimed, and then I claimed, I believe 2 years in a row….so I did claim last year. But my ex claimed him completely this year, EIC and dependent everything I believe because my refund was rejected. Ive paid for health insurance since July for our son, taken him to all doctor and dental appts as well as fight to get him back in a preschool in which he now goes to since January.
    Im not sure if he is entitled to claiming FULL for our son, but now that I am main custodial parent and Ive acted as such that past year especially, I feel he is in the wrong. Should I mail this in and fight it, thus causing a long audit process? I save receipts, I have records in preparation for this but Im not 100% completely sure since we shared custody last year and I filed 2 years in a row. I will be in the loss and so will my son without the help of 3K extra to help with bills. On top of all this, my job laid me off 3 weeks in January and work will be slow for months so I am in a hardship and just feel ike not fighting just to get a quicker but smaller return.
    He ex has another child with another woman now, and she just moved out of her home in December and idk what that means for him. Also, I asked my 62 yr old retired mom to come live with me to help with childcare, but now Im not sure I can claim HOH or how my taxes effect her. We keep finances seperate and we are in good health, she helps in childcare for free very much… so Help, need advice.
    Thank you.

  17. I have read several of these questions posed to you, and I can’t quite find one specific to me.
    My ex-husband filed with TurboTax this year (before I was able to) and instead of deleting our son from his list of dependents, he instead just checked the box option for not wanting to claim him this year.
    Because he left our son’s SSN on his tax form, mine was rejected even though my ex was not claiming him. Am I right to assume that it was rejected because our son’s SSN was on two tax returns? Also, we signed the divorce decree in 2009 after the law changed about the dependent tax claims. We were to claim him on alternating years. Am I out of luck with this? Will I never be able to claim our son again without having full custody?
    Thank you for your time.

  18. Hi Jan,
    My husband has a court order declaring he gets to claim his son (with his ex) on the odd tax years and his ex gets to claim on the even tax years. My husband has never gotten to claim his son since he’s been born in 2008, or since the stipulation was put into order in 2009. We are current on all child support and have the court paper saying we had the right to claim him on last years taxes. What would happen if we amend our taxes from last year, and rightfully claim his son. When we tried to claim him last year it said he was already being claimed by his mother, even though it was out year to claim.

  19. Hi Leon,
    I’m sorry but you are not entitled to anything.

    Now, you and your ex may come to an agreement–and that’s okay. But if you two don’t have any kind of agreement, you’ve got nothing. I want to make sure I spell that out because I don’t want you to get your hopes up

    Now, if you and she get along, here is a post that might help you two: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2015/01/tax-strategy-for-exes-that-get-along/

    But, if you are not getting along, that’s not going to work.

  20. Hi Kevin,
    If the IRS didn’t ask you for further documentation, then that’s fine. Whatever issue there was was settled before they got to that point.

    Now, about claiming your Mom. Her Social Security doesn’t count towards gross income, but it does count towards support. So, you need to make sure that you provide more than 50% of her support. This is a little easier since she lives with you.

    But I’ll give you an example. Let’s say your mom receives $12,000 a year from Social Security. That would mean that you would need to spend at least $12,000 a year towards her support. So you’re not just looking at the $3650 number, but did you spend as much on her as Social Security did?

    If the answer is yes, then by all means, claim her. If not–then you shouldn’t.

  21. my x an i share custody with our 9month old son. he stay with me in the day an stay with her in the night. when i have to work i drop him off by her .when i get off work i pick him up back. i wanna know if she file tax for our son if im entitle to half of his return?

  22. Hello my question is about my 2013 return, my mother has been living with us since August 2012 and we definately provide more than half her support she recieves Social security retirement and no other income. I got rejected when e-filing because someone claimed her already for last years return. So I called the IRS and an agent informed me to mail my return in and they would investigate. But this person never told me to send anything with my return like an explanation or anything. I recieved my tax refund and later a letter saying something like make sure I filed correctly and if I neded to send an amended return to do so. But I don’t believe I need to as my Mom is a qualifying relative she doesn’t have a job she received only her social security retirement which to my understanding doesn’t count towards the income level that would exempt her from being claimed as a dependent. Am I correct becuase we are about to file our 2014 taxes and I may run into this again so I want to make sure I am correct. Thanks!

  23. Hi Josh,
    Maybe I’m not reading your post correctly but it sounds to me like the boyfriend is taking care of the children so he claimed the kids. That’s the way the IRS rules work, the parent with the kids claims them.
    If I’m wrong, and your friend has custody of the children, and the boyfriend is just babysitting during the day–well then she can paper file her return and fight him. (But she might lose her baby sitter.)

  24. hello! i put my ex husband on child support they gave him 100 percent to carry our two kids cause i dont have a job. but i got remarried do my husband have the right to claim them since he support me and my kids even if pays child support

  25. Hey Jan,

    I have a friend who is going through a weird situation with an ex boyfriend, she decided that she wanted to leave him due to him not working for years and not applying himself so he took her kids while she was at work and her vehicle that was under both of their names and took the money out of her house that she was saving. Afterwards she was nervous about him taking the tax return as well and leaving her dry so she filed early and was rejected because he beat her too it. He hasn’t had a job in years and she feels helpless. Is there anything she can do at this point?

  26. Thank you Jan for your reply. Yes, trying to work with him is not an option. Would IRS be mad at me and maybe penalize me more after all this time they put to the audit and now I saw I was wrong, he had him more days? what if I tell IRS I have lot more to lose and maybe explain hes not a nice person so I have allow him? would that fly? or they care less about that? I mean, if he stops child support that alone will hurt me , I have another child that qualifies me as head of household, so does he though, but Im not sure how much I will end up paying back if I remove one child. Do amendment return work if I send it myself? thanks so much again for your feedback,

  27. Dear IRS Audit,
    I’m not sure what the best advice is here. I do know that the 8332 isn’t the answer.

    If you had an ex that you could talk things over with–you two could plot your strategy together. From what you’re writing, I’m thinking that’s not going to be an option.

    You could contact the IRS and say you were wrong and that although you provided the most financial support, your ex had your son for more days (which is the winning argument).

    But if you can work together with your ex–figure out who’d be the biggest loser in this case and let the EIC go to the person who stands to lose the most–then make good to the other one. For example: let’s say if you tell the IRS you lose and your bill is $5000, but if your ex losing is only $3000–then maybe you could over to pay his IRS bill. This only works if you actually follow through on this.

    But, it sounds like your ex has a temper and isn’t someone you can work with easily so I don’t want to recommend that if you’re in danger.

    I’m going to include a link to a post I just did. Since your ex sounds kind of scary, I don’t think this is a solution for you, but maybe it is if he’s willing to work with you on this. http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2015/01/tax-strategy-for-exes-that-get-along/

  28. Hi Concerned Dad,
    I answered a similar question on another page. I’m just going to copy and paste it here. Well, the first thing, if you haven’t remarried, is to claim your daughter for the head of household filing status. I realize you’ve still got other kids so you don’t need to, but if you click on the right boxes when you’re efiling, that information will still go to the IRS.

    But, it doesn’t help if you’re married filing jointly, and it still might not help as you have other children, the IRS might just ignore it.

    One more thing is to give her the 8332. She may be dumb enough to take it with her to her tax preparer. The thing is, when we see the 8332, we know that person doesn’t have custody and can’t claim EIC. (I know, that sounds lame, but it might work.)

    But you may just have to file a fraud form. Here’s a link about reporting fraud: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2010/11/how-to-report-tax-fraud/#comments

    The thing about reporting fraud is, you never know what happens. The IRS won’t tell you and let’s face, your ex won’t either.

    Good luck.

  29. back in 2012 my youngest son lived with his dad (my ex-husband) for 6 months, then moved back with me. During that whole time I carried health insurance, dental, school fees, phone bills, etc..so I had the right to claim him on taxes. My ex claimed him as well which I wasn’t aware of so IRS issues an audit to me, and finally after lil over a year I won the case after proofing the financial support. Now they said they’re going after my ex to audit him. I know how terrible my ex is and how much he will stress me and the kids out once he gets audited, he probably will stop the child support payments now which will take me long time to get a lawer again for which I have no money for, the courts can take years sometimes of fighting filled with stress and lost time from work, Im thinking I should allow him claim my son on his 2012 taxes as he did. My question is what is the best way to do that without dragging it any longer with IRS, and stop the audit to my ex so I can end this peacefully and live my life without fights. I know I will end up paying back probably, but that’s what I think will the healthy way for me. Can I fill out 8332 form ? or just call IRS after the audit was complete tell them the situation? Your advise is appreciated.

  30. I have legal custody of my oldest daughter. In my custody paper work it says that we (the mother of my oldest daughter) and I rotate claiming my daughter every other year. My daughter lives with me full time. My issue is that, I was told by a mutual friend that the mother has been claiming the EIC credit for our daughter on her years. I’ve always done by taxes with H&R block and was unaware that I may be doing them incorrectly? I don’t qualify for the EIC credit because my income is too high(thankfully). But, what am I doing wrong when filing taxes that allows her to do this? Is there something I can do this current tax season to ensure she can NOT claim the EIC credit? Is this something that I could get in trouble for on my taxes? I feel a little overwhelmed in knowing that I may have done something wrong when filing…… Please help????

  31. Hi Stressed,
    How did you find out someone claimed your child? Unless you receive an IRS letter, or your parent’s tax return was rejected, you have nothing to worry about.

    If it’s your ex’s girlfriend, she has no right to claim the kids and it will get found out.

    Now, it seems to me that since you live with your parents, or his parents, the grandparent that your children live with the most should be claiming those kids on their tax return. If they get a letter from the IRS, then they will have to respond. And, if they are claiming the grandchildren legally (and it sounds like they are) they have nothing to worry about.

  32. I hope this isn’t too confusing. My son’s father and I haven’t been together for 3 years now. My kids and I have lived with my mom and my son’s father’s parents (without him in the house) over those years. I don’t work and my mom is the one who pays for everything for my kids. Well this year my son’s said he was going to claim him after I told him not to because he hasn’t lived with him and he didn’t really do anything for him (my mom did the most for him). I found out today that he didn’t claim him but someone else did. I keep hearing that his gf claimed my son. Can I do anything about this, or at least do anything about her claiming him (they did not have my permission to do so and my son has lived with me the whole time)?

  33. Hi Tia,
    For one thing, the father can’t claim the kids for EIC as he doesn’t live with them. And he can’t claim them for the exemption because his ex (your sister) hasn’t signed the form allowing him to. (Or at least she shouldn’t have.)
    You should be able to claim the kids (and I’d go back and claim 2013 too.)
    Be prepared for a fight, but you’re in the right.
    The parent only wins when the parent is actually taking care of the kids–the father isn’t. You’re putting food on the table and a roof over their heads. The EIC is yours.

  34. Hello! Okay, I read this entire thread just to make sure I didn’t have a repeat question/issue. I hope I can get some help.

    November of 2012 my older sister fell on hard times. She came to live with me along with her two children who are 10 and 5. I did charge her a small amount in rent (so she could save easier) and she covered household items and some food for her kids.

    Late January of 2013 she lost her job. She was able to offer me small sums of money ($30-$40) every other week. I allowed this purely for the sake of my nieces (and it was still cold) while she found a job.Tax season was coming soon and she’d get a return so I knew she could use the money to move. Well, tax season for 2012 came and went. She got her return and gave me $275 to cover Jan-March. Fast forward a few weeks later and she’s nearly out of her tax money and still has no apartment or job. I should point out, my sister is an alcoholic and bi-polar… Her illness has contributed to this situation immensely… I couldn’t leave my nieces to her and their father wasn’t around.

    Tax year 2012 comes. My sister and my nieces are still with me and she still has no job. I go to claim her and my nieces on my taxes only to have my return rejected saying my qualifying children have already been claimed. I questioned my sister about this and she says it must have been their father. Naturally I was very upset but I honestly didn’t know what to do to fix things. I adjusted my return. Weeks later I got a letter from the IRS regarding my state return and that it will be adjusted unless I show proof of residency and relation. This was fine, I’d get my return sans the kids. I could have proved what they asked but I was too exhausted by this point to fight this so I let it go. My sister was unwilling to get their birth certificates for me and I didn’t want to have it out with my nieces father. The father also got a letter as well and showed up wanting to know why I tried to claim his kids. He wants school records and medical records. This indicates he can’t get these… They’d show my address and me as the emergency contact/guardian anyway.

    My sister is still out of work as of today. I plan on claiming her and my nieces next year as my dependents. Which they are. I have birth certificates, medical and school records showing where they live, I even kept my sisters voter registration card JUST in case… You never know.

    So, will I have a chance of actually claiming my nieces if their father tries? I keep hearing parents trump relatives like aunts and uncles… If this plays out in my favor, should I consider amending my 2013 return to claim them too?

    Thank you!

  35. I have a question

    I just found out why my daughter financial aid did not go through this year of 2014 come to find out in 2011 the year my daughter was not claimed come to find out she was a minor still a full time student in high school her father had came to her and with my child with no knowledge of what was happening gave her father her social security number in which he used to claim her or whatever he did and now my daughter goes 13 7002 dires for year 2011 which at the time she was a full time student minor at the high school did not work what can I do about this

  36. Hello im not sure if im on the right page but i received a letter from the irs about someone else claiming my son on his income tax for 2013 (his father) actually last month which i thought was pretty odd. I was thinking maybe he delayed mailing his return out bc he found out i had claimed him this year. Previous years (when we were together ) i let him claim my son bc he always owed taxes and i have a son from another man who i have full custody of. Before i broke up with him he left me thousands of dollars in debt behind on loans in my name rent while he was living with us and was pretty much left starving with my 2 boys. All he has proof of paying for is for daycare expenses that he claims every year. Plus since the daycare is on a military base where he works at the address is his (only proof of adress) i guess my question is can he prove that the child lives with him just by that? I havent gotten any other paperwork besides this initial one but since the break up we’ve gone to family court and he does not pay child support we have joint legal custody but it states i only have physical custody(which i dont understand because) we have 50/50 visitation rights as of june 29th of this year. Since then i have signed him up for kindergarten so school and medical records are both currently at my address. I understand that with this new court order one of us will have our son one more day out of the year so it will be every other year. Should i make an amendment even tho i dont think i should and although i tried to talk to him about an agreement he has refused bc all he cares is about the money. Do u think i have a good case? Cant sleep much amd am worried about owing the irs money if they take this one and only daycare address as proof. Help please! Thank u for ur time!

  37. Hi Eve,
    I can’t tell you what you should do. I can tell you that under IRS law–you should be claiming your son. At least you should claim the EIC and head of household designation.

    If you want to be nice to your ex, you can allow him to claim the exemption. But technically, that’s all you can allow him to do. If he claims anything more than that, then technically, he’s breaking the law.

    Does you ex deserve your help? I’m guessing the answer is no, but I could be wrong. Some exes are really great. But if you want to loan him money for a car, that dfferent than letting him claim your kid.

    But it sounds to me like you aren’t trying to let him claim your kid–it sounds to me like he’s trying to bully you and he’s just going to do it. I don’t like bullies.

    I hate giving this advice because it seems pretty lame, but I kind of think it’s the best I can offer you–file your taxes first. That may not be possible, but if you can, it throws a big red flag up if your ex tries to claim your kid.

    If he files first, he’ll probably get the refund and you’ll have to fight to get what’s yours. Since the child is yours and you’ve been claiming him, if you file and claim him again–your taxes will probably pass through with no problems and you’ll get your refund right away.

  38. Hi Monica,
    Thank you for your kind words. You won’t be able to go back to 2005 to claim those refunds, but you can go back as far as 2011.

    Be prepared for having to prove your claim. My guess is that your ex claimed the EIC and head of household for himself. It’s yours to claim so go for it, just be prepared that you’re going to have to fight for it.

    Good luck.

  39. My ex and i broke up since 2012, i let him file for my son in his first years he was born but i have ask him not to file again, one my son has been living with me since 2012. i bring him to all his doctors APPT and do everything for him. my ex come for him when he can. He told me whether i like it or not, he’s going to file for our son next year. i have ask him to please not do that but he doesn’t care because i bought a new car last year and that’s what he also wants to do. What should i do please?

  40. My daughters father walked away when I was 10 weeks pregnant. Had to go to court for child support. I am the custodial parent and have all rights as far as her education, religious and medical decisions are concerned.

    In the documentation, I was awarded claiming my daughter on the odd years and he on the even. I have never claimed her on the even years but in reading your blog and some answers, it seems I could have been claiming head of household AND EIC?

    Is it too late for me to go back from 2005, when she was born, and correct the even years?

    Thanks for listening, you seem to be doing amazing things for people that are really down and out! Blessings to you.

  41. Hi Taylor,
    Congratulations for fighting back. You will probably receive a letter asking you to document that your kids should be on your return. I realize that you already sent all of that stuff, but 9 times out of 10 that all gets thrown away when they open the package and you start over with your documentation.

    The process is slow, but hang in there. If you don’t hear anything within 8 weeks, you should call just to make sure that they have at least received your package. They should at least show that the package was received, even if they haven’t processed it yet.

    And when I say slow, I mean months! Once they process your return, they’ll send your ex a letter asking if he made a mistake. He’ll have time to respond. Even if he doesn’t respond at all, they will use the entire amount of time just waiting. Then they’ll go through all their channels of reviewing before they actually send you a check.

    But it sounds like you’ve got all your proof already together and you’ve done the right stuff so for you it’s just a matter of waiting. Good luck!

  42. Hi Jan,

    Details:
    Divorced 2002- states “father” can claim children IF all support is current
    3 sons (triplets) have not seen/talked to/communicated with “father” in over 10 years

    2011/2012 my taxes were rejected, I did not realize I could fight this until recently. I sent in amended returns for both years along with a cover letter and letters from schools for proof of residence.
    Support has never been current nor have any medical bills ever been paid (do they count as support?)

    What should I expect next?

    Thank you, Tay

  43. Hi Darryl,
    You might not qualify for EIC, but this link has lots of links to pages about child custody issues: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2012/01/eic-help-page/

    Bottom line–the IRS doesn’t care about the nitty gritty details of your divorce decree. So if you paid the medical or not–they just don’t care. Sorry.

    So you’re going to have to work this out with the ex. The links will give you tools and rules, but the IRS itself isn’t going to be much help.

  44. Hi Tammy,
    Your ex wife is allowed to claim the exemption. You get the head of household filing status and EIC (if your income qualifies.) So first, make sure you’re claiming what you’re allowed, not more than that. And check with your ex–you two could be getting audited because you made an honest mistake which could be settled just by fixing your returns.

    But–let’s say she didn’t just make a mistake and is trying to claim EIC and HH illegally. You need to prove your case.

    You have the child’s report card showing your address on it correct? I’d use that. Even though they also have your ex’s address, that you’re getting reports at your address does provide you some substantiation. I like that you have a letter from your landlord–that’s also good. You say that everybody knows your child lives with you–how about a scout leader or Sunday School teacher or daycare provider? Somebody can provide a letter. Did your child get sick? Need medicine? Even though her insurance is paid by your ex, I bet the prescription bottle has your home address on it. Anything for your child that has your address is your ammunition.

    Now here’s something that someone used that worked and I really like it. He had a calendar that showed the dates he brought his child to his ex’s house. The calendar clearly gave him over 50% custody. The IRS accepted it. (If you keep a calendar, it’s a great tool.) Don’t just make one up–it will be obvious. But if you kept one, I’d use it.

    But most important, make sure you’re only claiming what you should so that you’re standing on solid ground. You get the EIC and HH only. Leave the exemption to your ex.

  45. Other than the $200 in receipts, Im totally current. She owes me about $3,000 in private school, medical expenses, and dental. Now I’m at her digression on wether or not she signs the form. I truly don’t want to go to court again.

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