What Every Divorced Woman Needs to Know About Retirement: Social Security

social security benefits

Photo by SalFalko at Flickr.com

This may come as a surprise to you, but your ex-husband could turn out to be good for something after all. If you were married for at least 10 years, you may be entitled to Social Security benefits based upon your ex’s income—that is, if he’s entitled to Social Security benefits.


Here’s how it works: let’s say you’re thinking about retiring. You go to the Social Security website and find out what your benefits would be if you retire at 62, if you retire at your full benefit age, and if you retire at age 70. Then you call Social Security to find out what your benefits would be if you used your ex’s Social Security benefits. The number is (800) 772-1213. If you retire at 62, you can get 35% of his benefit; at full retirement age, you can get 50% of his benefit.


Let me show you with an example: Jane is 60 years old and she’s contemplating what she wants to do about retiring, whether to start taking benefits at 62 or hold out until later. She runs the numbers on the Social Security website ( www.ssa.gov )  and gets the following information:


  • Retire at 62, monthly benefit: $ 585
  • Retire at 66, monthly benefit: $ 820
  • Retire at 70, monthly benefit: $1,040


Those aren’t great numbers. Jane didn’t always work because she was raising a family, and when she did work, well, she didn’t make all that much money. But Jane’s ex-husband, Tom, made plenty of money. Using the Quick Retirement Calculator at ssa.gov: http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/quickcalc/index.html.


Jane estimates Tom’s Social Security earnings will be $2,586 per month at retirement. Now she’s going to want to actually talk to the Social Security folks to get the real numbers, but the calculator will give her a rough idea.


So, if Jane retires at 62, she can qualify for 35% of Tom’s money which would be $905 per month. If she waits until her full retirement age, she can qualify for 50% of Tom’s money which would be $1,293. For Jane, she can make more money retiring using Tom’s benefits than she can make on her own.


This is really important to know:

  • Your ex-husband will not lose his Social Security benefits if you use them
  • You cannot be currently remarried and qualify for your ex’s benefits
  • If you have had more than one marriage that lasted for over 10 years; you may use the spouse that gives you the greater benefit


Now here’s the really sweet deal: Let’s say Jane has a job she really likes and is able to keep working past full retirement age. Jane keeps working but she claims Tom’s social security benefits when she hits her retirement age. Then, let’s say because of her working, her benefits at 70 actually go up to $1500 a month instead of the $1040 that she had calculated back when she was 60. Jane can switch back and take her own, higher, retirement benefits now. That’s so awesome!


This is also important: If you claim Social Security based upon your ex-husband’s benefits before you reach full retirement age you will not be able to switch back to your full benefit at age 70. You really want to think long and hard about those numbers before you retire early.


What you’re eligible to receive from Social Security is very personal. It’s all based upon your individual contributions, you can’t make any assumptions based upon what your friends or neighbors get. You can learn what you’re eligible for by creating your own account at the Social Security website. It only takes about 10 minutes. Finding out about benefits from an ex-spouse will take a bit longer because it involves a phone call and the hold times can be pretty long. Isn’t it worth finding out?

Common Law Marriage and Your Tax Return

The married couple

Photo by Carrie Phisher on Flickr.com.

I often get contacted by people who are facing an audit based upon their “family relationship.” The IRS will send an inquiry about a person’s relationship to a child in an EIC claim and the person being audited will say that he or she is “common law” married to the child’s birth parent.

Here’s the thing: the rules for common law marriage are very specific. I know that a lot of people seem to think that a couple is common law married if they live together for seven years. That’s just not true. (I used to believe that too, it’s something I was told when I was a kid.)

But in reality, there are only certain states that recognize common law marriage. If a couple is deemed common law married in one of those states and then move to a non-common law marriage state, the new state still has to recognize the marriage.

In most common law states, you can’t just say you’re married, you have to “hold yourself out to be married”. For example: you call yourselves husband and wife, you file joint income tax returns, you use the same last name.

If you have a common law marriage, and you end your relationship, then you must get a divorce even though you never had a wedding.

If you’re going to argue to the IRS that you have a common law marriage, you need to know the facts. First, you need to know which states recognize common law marriage in the first place:

  • Alabama
  • Colorado
  • District of Columbia
  • Georgia (if created before January 1, 1997)
  • Idaho (if created before January 1, 1996)
  • Iowa
  • Kansas
  • Montana
  • New Hampshire (but only for inheritance purposes, this won’t work on your tax return)
  • New Mexico
  • Ohio (if created before October 10, 1991)
  • Oklahoma (but there’s conflict in the courts, marriages created before November 1, 1998 are recognized, common law marriages after that date may not be recognized)
  • Pennsylavania (if created before January 1, 2005)
  • Rhode Island
  • South Carolina
  • Texas
  • Utah

If you live in one of these common law states, you will need to check with your state to find out the rules that make you qualify as married. This link gives you an outline of some of the state requirements. http://www.uscis.gov/ilink/docView/AFM/HTML/AFM/0-0-0-1/0-0-0-26573/0-0-0-30679.html

Common law marriage is not to be taken lightly; it’s marriage. Before you use the common law marriage argument with the IRS, make sure you’re serioius about being married.

Filing Taxes While Going Through a Divorce

Divorce and taxes can be complicated


Going through a divorce is traumatic.  It’s sad.  And it’s a royal pain in the behind.  On top of all the emotional stuff you’re going through, it can also really mess up your taxes.


Let’s say that right now you and your ex are still married but living apart.  The divorce will be final this year, but you still need to file last year’s taxes.  What do you do?


Scenario One:  You’ve been apart and on your own with the children for over 6 months.

In this case, you are entitled to claim the head of household filing status, the children’s exemptions, EIC (if your income allows it) and the child care credit of your kids are in daycare. Basically you get everything.


Your ex would only be able to claim Married Filing Separately. That could really hurt him at tax time. That’s not your problem, just letting you know what his status is.


So—bottom line—if there’s a fight, you win. Be aware, that he’ll probably try to claim the kids anyway (I see that all the time.) Your refund could be delayed by 75 days. But, if he files first and you get rejected—don’t quit, you’re the winner.


Scenario 2:  Couples who did not split apart until the second half of the year.

If you lived with your spouse at all during the last six months of the year, then you’re not allowed to claim the Head of Household filing status.  Your only two options for your filing status are Married Filing Separate and Married Filing Jointly.  Until your divorce is final, you cannot claim Single.


If you file separately, you lose the Earned Income Tax Credit.  There are other deductions you can lose too, but the EIC is probably the most devastating to lower income taxpayers with children.


The incentive to file jointly in this scenario is much higher than if you’re allowed to claim head of household.


No matter which scenario you’re in, there’s another filing option:  Married filing jointly.


First, if your ex is abusive or dangerous to you or your children in any way—don’t go there, stop here and file head of household or Married Filing Separate. Never risk physical danger.


But, if your ex has some redeeming characteristics—think about it, you’ve probably got adorable kids.  He’s done something right somewhere along the line.  Remember, you’re going to be dealing with your kids’ father for the rest of their lives even if you’ve divorced him.  Mercy might be a good option for future family peace.


So, if you’re thinking about filing jointly, first, you prepare your own taxes, as HOH or MFS like above, claiming all of the exemptions you’re entitled to and figure out your refund.


Next, I recommend doing this at a tax place, not on your own—so that you give yourselves a “mediator”, figure what the refund, or tax situation would be if you two filed together.


Then you’re going to “split the refund”. That is, you set it up so that instead of getting one refund check to go into one bank account, you have the IRS send the refunds to your separate checking accounts (so you don’t have to rely on your ex to sign a check or give you money or anything like that.) You do that using the 8888 form.  Here’s a link:  http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f8888.pdf


BUT—and this is really important:  OKAY, I’M CAPITALIZING AND WRITING IT SEPARATELY BECAUSE IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT: You don’t have to split the refund evenly. You make sure that you get the full amount of what you’d get if you filed separately. That’s only fair. If you were the one that supported the kids, paid the rent, etc, especially if you would be allowed to claim head of household, then you should get the whole of that much of your refund.


You make sure that the refund is split the way it should be and don’t leave the tax place until you see that the return has been e-filed.  That way he can’t go back and change the dollar amounts.


Remember, you only file with the ex in order to keep him from totally tanking on his taxes because of the married filing separate classification.  This might not help him at all—in which case you don’t file jointly.


Sometimes, you don’t want to file jointly with a soon to be ex.  Here are some good reasons not to help the ex by filing jointly:


  • If he’s in some kind of tax trouble from before—keep away
  • If he owes on student loans or child support to a previous family—keep away
  • If he’s self employed—he’ll probably owe and is more likely to get audited—that’s a red flag, use your judgment. The EIC you’d get could be used to pay his self employment taxes and your refund probably wouldn’t be high enough to cover what you’d get by filing alone.  But if he’s a decent person—and not crooked, the financial benefit to him could be amazing.
  • If he’s crooked.  Seriously.  If you suspect that he has cheated on his taxes in the past, don’t risk having your name tied to his tax return.  Walk away.


Divorce isn’t easy on anybody.  Make sure you know your rights and what you’re entitled to and don’t be bullied into doing something that’s not legal or in your best interests.

Turbo Tax Users: You Need to do a Three Year Review

Money and Magnifying Glass

Photo by Images_of_Money on Flickr.com

I’ve said it before: I think Turbo Tax is a great product. I also like 1040.com, the do it yourself software you can get on my website. Good products, good results. But, they’re not perfect—none of them are. And neither are tax preparers, after all they are human and make mistakes as well.


It’s August, generally quiet time in the tax business—but no, not this week. The other day my phone rang nine times—people getting IRS letters. “Hello, I got an IRS letter, what do I do?” I suspect that the IRS must have done a mass mailing the other day for my phone to ring so much. (My phone is usually slow in August.)


Some calls are easy and I can guide someone over the phone, “Oh, just send them a copy of XYZ form, that’s all they want.” Usually though, people need to come in and have me take a look. What I’m often finding this summer—is that people are getting IRS letters saying folks owe money, but when I review their returns, they should be getting a refund instead. And while I think that’s great fun (because I’m a tax geek and that’s the kind of stuff I live for) most people don’t like getting IRS letters saying they owe thousands of dollars at all. (Although they’re usually happy when I show they’ve got a refund coming.)


But here’s the catch—these people wouldn’t know they had money coming back if the IRS didn’t send them the nasty letter in the first place! What about all the people who left money on the table but won’t get an IRS notice?


What I’m finding is that the people with money coming back did their own taxes with Turbo Tax. Not that the Turbo Tax program made a mistake but it is usually just a misunderstanding of what should or should not be listed or possibly a typo. That’s why I’m recommending a three year tax review.


Why three years? If you made a mistake on your tax return, you have three years from the date of filing to file an amendment to get your money back. This is achieved by filing a Form 1040X.


For example, let’s say back on your 2009 tax return, you typed in that you paid $1,000 in mortgage interest when really you paid $10,000. The two numbers look pretty similar but there’s $9,000 worth of deduction there that you just missed out on. If you’re in the 25% tax bracket, that’s a $2,250 refund that you’d be entitled to. Your 2009 tax return was due on April 15, 2010. So, three years from that date is April 15, 2013. If you wanted to get that money back from the IRS, you’d need to file an amended return by then.


You don’t need to do this every year, just bring in three years worth of returns once every three years. Most places charge a fee, but it’s generally much lower than the cost of preparing your returns. (I know one large tax company used to advertise that they’d do it for free.)


If your returns are fine—then you’ve got peace of mind. If you’ve been doing something wrong—well then you’ve learned something. If you get money back—well then you know you did the right thing. It’s a winning situation all the way around.

Can I Write Off My Child Support Payments on my Taxes?

Divorce and Children

Drawing/Photo by o5com on Flickr.com

Quick answer:  No.


For a longer answer, you may want to know why.  Here’s the reasoning:  if you are married and living with your family and raising your children—there’s no deduction for paying for their school clothes or feeding them.  That’s pretty much what your child support payments are—feeding the kids and paying for clothes.  So whether you live with your kids, or live apart, the money that’s used for those day to day necessities is not a tax deductible expense.    You don’t get a deduction for paying it and your ex doesn’t claim it as taxable income.


What about alimony?  Alimony is different—you get to deduct alimony on your tax return if you pay it, and your ex has to claim the alimony as income.  Alimony counts as income so your ex will have to pay taxes on it. Alimony does not count as earned income for the earned income tax credit, but as one of my clients explained to me, “Oh, honey—trust me I EARNED it!”


You might be thinking that paying alimony is better than paying child support—but there’s a catch to that thinking.  If the “alimony” ends when the kids turn 18— the IRS will call it child support anyway so you lose all the tax advantages.  Alimony basically goes for the life of your ex or until a re-marriage occurs.   So while alimony has some tax advantages—child support at least has an end date.  (There are some cases where alimony is only paid for a limited time, but it has to be very separate and distinct from any type of child support to be valid for tax purposes.)


Some people pay both alimony and child support.  In a case like that you can deduct the alimony portion of your payment on your tax return.  Now it’s important to know—if you fall behind on your payments—the IRS assumes that you pay the child support first.  For example:  Let say you pay $300 a month in child support and $200 a month in alimony.  For the year you pay $6000 all together:  $3,600 in child support and $2,400 in alimony.  You’ll take a $2,400 deduction for the alimony on your tax return.


Now, what happens if you lost your job and didn’t make any payments in November and December of the tax year?  You would have paid $5,000 total, right?  ($500 times 10 months)  And $2,000 of that was for alimony.  But according to the IRS—you pay the child support first.  So of the $5,000 that you did pay, $3,600 went towards the child support and you only get to deduct $1,400 (the amount that’s left) for the alimony.  So make sure that you’re all paid up before the end of the year if you want to deduct all of the alimony on your tax return.


If your hungry for more, try http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/135170 to put icing on the cake.

Court Ordered Exemptions and the IRS

Gavel On Sounding Block


I have to start with the disclaimer first: I’m an enrolled agent, I’m licensed by the Department of Treasury to represent persons before the IRS. I am not an attorney. According to the rules of my license, I am not allowed to give legal advice. But I get to talk about taxes until I’m blue in the face!

Why the disclaimer? Because if you’re a divorced parent, you may have to deal with a court order that outlines who can claim your child’s tax exemption. But the IRS has its own rules about who may claim a child’s exemption, and sometimes the courts and the IRS don’t agree.

Here are the IRS rules:

  • If your divorce decree went into effect after 1984 and before 2009, the noncustodial parent may be able to attach certain pages from the decree to the tax return to claim the exemption as long as the decree has no conditions (like paying child support) instead of requiring the custodial parent to sign a form 8332 (release of exemption).
  • If the divorce decree or separation agreement is after 2008, then the custodial parent must sign a form 8332 for the noncustodial parent to claim an exemption.

Can see how this can be tricky? If you don’t sign the 8332 form , and your ex doesn’t have the proper divorce decree documents, then your ex doesn’t get the exemption as far as the IRS is concerned. You’re going to win this one on the IRS battlefield. You may have to take it to the battlefield, but if you do then you will win.

But what does a person do when there’s a court order for her spouse to claim the exemption on the children, but the husband has no right to claim the children as far as the IRS rules are concerned? What do you do if a local judge says, “You’ve got to let your ex husband claim your children for taxes? I order you to sign the 8332 form.”

I spoke with a local attorney about what could happen to a person who followed the strict IRS rules and claimed the children’s exemptions for herself when the divorce decree allowed the spouse to claim – the answer I got was to have the person call her attorney. You see, the IRS rules are all about how the IRS will settle the issue. I’m an expert at how the IRS will settle the issue. But if you’re dealing with a court order, and if your ex decides to take you back to court to enforce the exemption rule, and you defy a court order to allow him to claim the exemption, then it’s quite possible for you to see the inside of a jail cell. I don’t want anybody reading this blog to wind up in prison. So even though you should win a tax case, you should really talk to your attorney before you go against your divorce or custody decree. Make sure that you’re within your rights in your jurisdiction.

If you are the custodial parent and you are required to let your ex claim your children, remember that the exemption only includes the exemption and the child tax credit. As the custodial parent, you keep the Head of Household designation, the Earned Income Tax Credit (if you qualify), and the Child Care Credit (if that’s relevant.) See my post about splitting a child’s exemption:  Split Exemptions

If your ex claimed your child and shouldn’t have, read my post, “My Ex Claimed My Kid” for tips on how to fight back:  My Ex Claimed My Kid

Divorce is tough on everyone. It’s really tricky when you’ve got federal and state rules that don’t always mesh together either. The bottom line is that the IRS does not want to be involved in domestic disputes. If your divorce decree says that the Dad will pay child support and claim the exemption while Mom has the custody, then the IRS does not want to get involved in whether or not Dad paid that child support. That’s why the IRS rules are the way they are. Basically, they’re kicking that issue back to the local jurisdictions. If Dad wants Mom to sign the 8332, then his child support should be paid up to date. If Dad’s done everything right and Mom is still refusing to sign the 8332, then the IRS is saying it’s not their problem – Dad can go back to court and work it out from there-locally.

We used to have a saying when I was a kid: “Don’t make it a federal issue.” I don’t remember where we got it from, probably some TV show. I just remember we just always used to say it. But that’s kind of what the IRS is saying to divorced couples claiming their kids today, “Don’t make it a federal issue.”

If you’ve got a situation where the IRS rules and the court rules don’t line up, do consult your attorney about how your situation can, will, or should be handled.


Here are some links that might help

EIC questions of any kind:  EITC Help

How to find free tax preparers:  Free Tax Help

How to find your local IRS office:  Contact Local IRS Office


Split Exemption: Claiming One Child on Two Tax Returns — The Legal Way

IRS rules allow for divorced parents to split a child's exemption

Splitting an exemption is not illegal if you follow the proper rules. Learn how here.



Sometimes when I’m working with a divorced couple, it seems that the most beneficial way to prepare the tax return is to split the exemption for their child. When I say that, they always tell me, “But I heard that was against the law!” No—that’s not exactly true. But let me tell you, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. If you follow the rules and do it correctly, it’s not only legal, it’s the right thing to do. Warning: if you don’t follow the rules, you could be breaking the law. I give a lot of advice to do-it-yourselfers, but if you’re planning to split an exemption, I recommend you go to a professional for it. (And if she tells you it can’t be done—hire somebody who knows what she’s talking about.)


With most divorced couples (I’m including here couples who were never married but have split apart and have lived apart for at least 6 months of the past tax year), one parent (usually the mother) has custody and the other parent (usually the father) has visitation rights. A lot of couples say that they have “joint” custody – for example, the kids stay with the dad every Wednesday night and every other weekend and with the mom the rest of the time. If you count the days, under IRS rules, the mother wins on the custody status. According to the IRS, wherever the child spends the most nights is where the child lives—if you’ve got one of those every other weekend and every Wednesday night agreements, the IRS doesn’t count that as being equal.


In my example, I’m saying the child lives with the mother. In IRS lingo, the mother in this example is the “custodial” parent and the father is the “non-custodial” parent.


In this case, the mom has all the power—she’s the custodial parent. The mom can claim all the benefits of having a child on the tax return. Those benefits include:

  • Head of Household filing status-a lower tax rate
  • Childcare tax credit-credit for money you spend on daycare
  • Childcare exclusion-so you don’t get taxed if your company pays for daycare
  • Earned Income Credit-this can be worth up to $3,094 for one child
  • Exemption for the child-a deduction of $3,600 off your income
  • Child Tax Credit-worth up to $1,000


When tax professionals tell you that you can’t split exemptions, what they’re reading is the section of Pub. 17 (that’s like our Bible for tax stuff) that says these things always go to the same person. What they’re not reading is page 31—the part that tells you about the special rules for divorced or separated parents. Under the special rules section, it says that the mom (our custodial parent) can release the exemption for the child to the father (the non-custodial parent). This lets him claim the exemption and the child tax credit on his return, while the mom keeps the head of household status, the dependent care credit, and the EIC on her return.


Why would anyone want to do this? Lots of reasons! Number one, of course, is to maximize the amount of money you get back from the government. A lot of times, after a divorce, the mom doesn’t have a very high taxable income. Remember, child support isn’t taxable. The dad has lost a lot of his deductions so his tax bill could be pretty high. He’d probably never qualify for an earned income credit anyway, but the $1000 child tax credit would really help him out. If the mom’s taxable income is really low, she wouldn’t even qualify for the $1000 child tax credit. In some cases she could give it away without it hurting her at all. Or maybe the father is behind on child support, she could negotiate: if he catches up on the child support by December 31st, she’ll sign the form to allow the father to claim the child’s exemption. Remember, when claiming the exemption for a child, the custodial parent has all the power. If the dad claims the child without permission, the mom can just file her own return fully claiming the child and sending the dad’s return to the IRS audit division. You don’t want that to happen.


Splitting an exemption isn’t the best choice for everybody. You have to look at both returns and see if it’s going to work. It also helps to be on good terms with the ex—this certainly doesn’t work well with people who are fighting.


There are a lot of other rules that I haven’t even touched. (That Pub. 17 book is 295 pages long!) But if you are divorced or separated, you need to know that splitting an exemption might be an option for you to use on your income tax return.



Here are some links that might help:

EIC questions of any kind:  EITC Assistant


How to find free tax preparers:  Free Tax Help


How to find your local IRS office:  Find an IRS Office


My Ex Claimed My Kid: Now What Do I Do?

What to do if an ex spouse claims your chlid for taxes

It’s a hassle if someone else claims your child on their tax return, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up.


This happens to people all the time.  You go to electronically file your tax return and it gets rejected because someone else has already claimed your child.  What do you do?  I say fight back, and here’s how.


The first step to fighting back is to make sure that you’re in the right.  Ask yourself these questions:


1.  Are you the biological parent of the child?  Hint:  if your answer is “I’ve raised her like my own.”  You’re going to have trouble winning.  If you’re a grandparent, step parent, aunt or uncle; and the person who claimed the child is the actual parent, you don’t stand much of a chance.  (That said, some folks will have a credible case, but I’d suggest professional help here because it is tricky.)  To go this route you should be the real parent.


2.  Did the child live with you all year?  If not all year, for at least over half of the year?  If you had custody all year you have a much better shot of winning.  You absolutely must have had custody for over half of the year to even think of trying this.  If you’re on the border line, where your ex had the child for half the year and you had half, this might not be worth it.


3.  Is this good for your child?  Generally you’d think that having more money in the household would be good for your child, but if fighting with your ex could cause harm to your child, you might want to stop and think about it a bit.


Step two.  Once you’ve determined that you are in the right and that you are entitled to claim your child, then what you need to do is print out, sign and mail that rejected return to the IRS —keeping your child as your dependent on the tax return.  When you do this, the IRS has to take it in.  They have to look at it and it’s going to throw whoever claimed your child into an audit.  If an Earned Income Tax Credit is involved then those audit papers generally run 11 to 22 pages long.  (11 pages for a straight EIC audit, 22 for an EIC and head of household audit, they’re the same questions it’s just that 22 pages is more intimidating.)


Here’s the scary part, you’re going to get the same paperwork.  It is a little intimidating, but you’re expecting it.  Because you’re the custodial parent, that is your child lives with you, you can answer those questions with no problem.  People who shouldn’t be claiming your kids can’t answer the questions and that’s why you’ll win.  If your kids are in school, you’ll need a document from the school saying they attend and where they live.  If they’re too young for school, you can get a statement from the doctor’s office that you’re their parent and you pay their medical bills.  You’ll have the resources to prove that you’re the parent.


If you’re reading this and thinking, “I can’t prove I have custody of my kids,” then maybe you shouldn’t be filing for them.  You will have to provide some proof:  school records, doctor’s files, church documents, day care receipts, health insurance records, something professional.   Your Mom or a friend can’t vouch for you.


Once you’ve received the audit papers, completed them and sent them back, then it’s a waiting game.  Your ex (or whoever claimed your child) will have to complete the same paperwork.  The IRS will examine the papers and determine who had the proper right to claim your child.  But since it’s you, you will win.


The big downside to this is that it will take months to settle.  Months.  On the upside, once your ex has lost an audit case for claiming your child, it will be very difficult to ever try it again.  You’re not just solving a problem for one year, you’re preventing future problems as well.


What if you need the money now?  That’s the most common question.  Sorry, but that’s impossible.  What you’ve lost, you can’t get back without a fight.  If you have more than one child, and only one was claimed incorrectly, you could file now and at least get part of your refund, then file an amended return later.  I don’t recommend doing that, but I also understand sometimes you need the cash now.


If you try doing this as an amended return there are two consequences:  first, it will slow everything down even more.  You can’t file an amended return until your first return is completely processed.  An amended return will take about 16 weeks to run through the system before the whole audit process begins so you’re basically adding 4 to 5 months to the timeline for solving this issue.  Second, filing a return and amending to add a child reduces your credibility with the IRS.  Your documentation had better be rock solid because you will have no wiggle room for doubt if you submit an amended return to claim your child.


One more thing to consider before you go through with this.  Call your ex and talk it out.  I’m not crazy, hear me out.  You’ve read this far, you know that fighting is a big hassle.  Before you go into warrior mode, maybe you can negotiate a peace treaty.  What do you stand to gain from this?  What does your ex stand to gain?  It’s important that you file your returns legally, but with divorced or never married couples, you can split an exemption:  the custodial parent claims head of household and EIC, the non-custodial parent claims the child tax credit and the exemption.  It could be a good thing for both of you and for your child.  (Remember, what’s best for the child?)  Instead of going to war, you have your ex amend his/her return and you file your return right after the amendment is accepted.  It still is slow, but much faster than going through an audit.  And it’s a peaceful solution.  (Please, don’t even think of trying this if your ex is dangerous.  Safety first.)


Finding out that someone else has claimed your child for taxes can be shocking and financially devastating.  The assumption is usually that it’s the ex, but that’s not always the case.   When you file to claim your child, you will never be told who the other person is.  (Of course, if it’s your ex you’ll probably get an unfriendly phone call so you’ll know.)  It’s scary how often it’s not the ex, though.  Be sure to protect your child’s social security number.  Don’t keep the card in your purse.  Don’t share the social security number with anyone.  Your child needs your protection.  It’s hard enough being a kid, being a kid with a stolen identity is worse.


Note:  Here are some links that might help:

EIC questions of any kind:  http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Earned-Income-Tax-Credit-(EITC)-%E2%80%93–Use-the-EITC-Assistant-to-Find-Out-if-You-Should-Claim-it.

How to find free tax preparers:  http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Free-Tax-Return-Preparation-for-You-by-Volunteers

How to find your local IRS office:  http://www.irs.gov/uac/Contact-Your-Local-IRS-Office-1