It’s a hassle if someone else claims your child on their tax return, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up.
This happens to people all the time. You go to electronically file your tax return and it gets rejected because someone else has already claimed your child. What do you do? I say fight back, and here’s how.
The first step to fighting back is to make sure that you’re in the right. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Are you the biological parent of the child? Hint: if your answer is “I’ve raised her like my own.” You’re going to have trouble winning. If you’re a grandparent, step parent, aunt or uncle; and the person who claimed the child is the actual parent, you don’t stand much of a chance. (That said, some folks will have a credible case, but I’d suggest professional help here because it is tricky.) To go this route you should be the real parent.
2. Did the child live with you all year? If not all year, for at least over half of the year? If you had custody all year you have a much better shot of winning. You absolutely must have had custody for over half of the year to even think of trying this. If you’re on the border line, where your ex had the child for half the year and you had half, this might not be worth it.
3. Is this good for your child? Generally you’d think that having more money in the household would be good for your child, but if fighting with your ex could cause harm to your child, you might want to stop and think about it a bit.
Step two. Once you’ve determined that you are in the right and that you are entitled to claim your child, then what you need to do is print out, sign and mail that rejected return to the IRS —keeping your child as your dependent on the tax return. When you do this, the IRS has to take it in. They have to look at it and it’s going to throw whoever claimed your child into an audit. If an Earned Income Tax Credit is involved then those audit papers generally run 11 to 22 pages long. (11 pages for a straight EIC audit, 22 for an EIC and head of household audit, they’re the same questions it’s just that 22 pages is more intimidating.)
Here’s the scary part, you’re going to get the same paperwork. It is a little intimidating, but you’re expecting it. Because you’re the custodial parent, that is your child lives with you, you can answer those questions with no problem. People who shouldn’t be claiming your kids can’t answer the questions and that’s why you’ll win. If your kids are in school, you’ll need a document from the school saying they attend and where they live. If they’re too young for school, you can get a statement from the doctor’s office that you’re their parent and you pay their medical bills. You’ll have the resources to prove that you’re the parent.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I can’t prove I have custody of my kids,” then maybe you shouldn’t be filing for them. You will have to provide some proof: school records, doctor’s files, church documents, day care receipts, health insurance records, something professional. Your Mom or a friend can’t vouch for you.
Once you’ve received the audit papers, completed them and sent them back, then it’s a waiting game. Your ex (or whoever claimed your child) will have to complete the same paperwork. The IRS will examine the papers and determine who had the proper right to claim your child. But since it’s you, you will win.
The big downside to this is that it will take months to settle. Months. On the upside, once your ex has lost an audit case for claiming your child, it will be very difficult to ever try it again. You’re not just solving a problem for one year, you’re preventing future problems as well.
What if you need the money now? That’s the most common question. Sorry, but that’s impossible. What you’ve lost, you can’t get back without a fight. If you have more than one child, and only one was claimed incorrectly, you could file now and at least get part of your refund, then file an amended return later. I don’t recommend doing that, but I also understand sometimes you need the cash now.
If you try doing this as an amended return there are two consequences: first, it will slow everything down even more. You can’t file an amended return until your first return is completely processed. An amended return will take about 16 weeks to run through the system before the whole audit process begins so you’re basically adding 4 to 5 months to the timeline for solving this issue. Second, filing a return and amending to add a child reduces your credibility with the IRS. Your documentation had better be rock solid because you will have no wiggle room for doubt if you submit an amended return to claim your child.
One more thing to consider before you go through with this. Call your ex and talk it out. I’m not crazy, hear me out. You’ve read this far, you know that fighting is a big hassle. Before you go into warrior mode, maybe you can negotiate a peace treaty. What do you stand to gain from this? What does your ex stand to gain? It’s important that you file your returns legally, but with divorced or never married couples, you can split an exemption: the custodial parent claims head of household and EIC, the non-custodial parent claims the child tax credit and the exemption. It could be a good thing for both of you and for your child. (Remember, what’s best for the child?) Instead of going to war, you have your ex amend his/her return and you file your return right after the amendment is accepted. It still is slow, but much faster than going through an audit. And it’s a peaceful solution. (Please, don’t even think of trying this if your ex is dangerous. Safety first.)
Finding out that someone else has claimed your child for taxes can be shocking and financially devastating. The assumption is usually that it’s the ex, but that’s not always the case. When you file to claim your child, you will never be told who the other person is. (Of course, if it’s your ex you’ll probably get an unfriendly phone call so you’ll know.) It’s scary how often it’s not the ex, though. Be sure to protect your child’s social security number. Don’t keep the card in your purse. Don’t share the social security number with anyone. Your child needs your protection. It’s hard enough being a kid, being a kid with a stolen identity is worse.
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Note: Here are some links that might help:
EIC questions of any kind: http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Earned-Income-Tax-Credit-(EITC)-%E2%80%93–Use-the-EITC-Assistant-to-Find-Out-if-You-Should-Claim-it.
How to find free tax preparers: http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Free-Tax-Return-Preparation-for-You-by-Volunteers
How to find your local IRS office: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Contact-Your-Local-IRS-Office-1
Hi my sons mother claimed him this tax season and she had told me I could last year she took me off child support and gave me custody of him I still have my paper work showing that he lives wit me and I filed my tax return last week by paper and I was just wondering would that court document be good enough to let me win this since he is only two plus she only wored 3 months last year where by I wored all 12
My ex and I were never married. He’s never paid child support for our 8 year old, but he does pay her school tuition every other month. Our daughter lives with me and spends a day or 2 with him, every other weekend at the most. I’ve always claimed her but he is now asking me for her ssn# so he can claim the tuition he pays every other month ($500). Should I give it to him?
Hey Tina! Thanks for your post. You paper filed your return and got your money back within 4 weeks. That’s great. A lot of people have been asking how long it takes and it used to take much longer so that’s really good news.
Now, your question about how to prevent it from happening again–I don’t have a good answer for that. Eventually the IRS will catch up to her, she will have to pay the money back, but it’s frustrating to see someone go on vacation, buy cell phones, and stuff like that while you’re trying to feed your kids. Sorry I don’t have a better answer.
Hey Gabriel,
Your best answer lies in your new court order. Does she still get to claim one? Even if she does–she is only entitled to the dependency exemption and the child tax credit–she should not get head of household or EIC. You should get to keep the head of household status and the EIC if you qualify. You may want to check out this post: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2012/01/court-ordered-exemptions-and-the-irs/
It sounds to me like you’re paper filing and winning every year–am I right? If that’s the case, it might be time to contact your attorney. Sorry I don’t have a good answer for you.
Hey Geritza,
So you don’t have any guess as to who claimed your daughter? Sometimes that happens. Although it’s most likely someone you know–there are theives that steal social security numbers of kids. (I had a client whose child’s identity was stolen when she was born–a thief stole the social security numbers of babies at the hospital–so stuff like that really happens.)
Anyway–the IRS will never tell you who stole the number. What you need to do is paper file the return and prove you’re the parents–which should be easy. You may learn who did it as you go through the process–or you may not. That’s the part that drives me the craziest–I think you should have the right to know–but there are other laws involved.
Anyway, do go through the process–you’re in the right and it’s the best way to fight the thief.
Hi Joseph,
I think you have a pretty good case. I’d start with the updated court order–because she’s fooling the IRS with old paperwork. And if she’s letting someone else claim your daughter–well that’s just outright wrong.
So–go ahead and amend your returns. You can go back as far as 2008–but you can’t wait until after tax season–you must amend 2008 BEFORE April 17th 2012. Don’t let her put you off about that. Even if she wants to wait on the others, 2008 must be completed before tax season is over or you automatically lose.
As of May 2011 my step duaghter moved in with us full-time. Her dad became the custodial parent and the mother became the non-custodial parent. We have court papers stating this. It also states father shall claim EIC for child starting for tax year 2011 and both mother and father shall claim child as a dependent, father having odd # years and mother on even.
We had our taxes done and sent them off to be e-filed by our tax guy. We received a call the next day letting us know that our tax form for Federal have been rejected due to the fact my step daughter had been claimed a already and now we would have to fill out papers and send in copies of our court papers proving we are the ones who can claim her. My husband called the mother and asked her about it and let her know that he has to send in papers and this is holding his up because now he is unable to e-file it back since he has to mail it in. She could care less, she already had her money and was spending in on her hair, clothes, new cell phone, family vacation. She told my husband it was not her problem.
We sent the papers in certified mail and surprisingly it only took a little less then 4 weeks, from the time the IRS receieved them on Jan 30th, 2012 til. February 24th, 2012 when it appeared in our checking account, which was very surprising, since we mailed it in and only assumed it would be mailed back. I am happy it all worked out, but I my question is, How can we prevent this from happening again and how can we stop it? Also out of curiosity, What happens with her from the IRS for filing a false claim, anything or is it just another slap on the hand? I realize she will have to pay the money back, but even with that she can make payments to them right? Thank you for all your help in this matter, it’s very much appreciated. I love the great advice and information you give.
As of May 2011 my step duaghter moved in with us ful-ltime. Her dad became the custodial parent and the mother became the non-custodial parent. We have court papers stating this. It also states father shall claim EIC for child starting for tax year 2011 and both mother and father shall claim child as a dependent, father having odd # years and mother on even.
We had our taxes done and sent them off to be e-filed by our tax guy. We received a call the next day letting us know that our tax form for Federal have been rejected to due the fact my step daughter had been claimed and now we would have to fill out papers and sent in copies of our court papers proving we are the ones who can claim her. My husband called the mother and asked her about it and let her know that he has to send in papers and now this is holding his up because now he is unable to e-file it back he has to mail it in. She could care less, she already had her money and was spending in on her hair, clothes, new cell phone, family vacation. She told my husband it was not her problem.
We sent the papers in certified mail and surprisingly it only took 4 weeks from the time the IRS receieved them on Jan 30th, 2012 til. February 24th, 2012 when one day it appeared in our checking account, which was very surprising, since we mailed it in and only assumed it would be mailed back. I am happy it all worked out, but I guess my question is, how can we prevent this from happening again and how can we stop it? Also out of curiosity what happens with her from the IRS for filing a false claim, anything or is it just a nother slap on the hand? I realize she will have to pay the money back, but even with that she can make payments to them right? Thank you for all your help in this matter, it’s very much appropriated. I love the advice and great information you give.
My ex wife claims one of my children every year. I have primary custody and live in California she lives in Texas. Prior to her moving she lived in California and we had 50 50 custody and the court order said we would switch every year, she would claim 51 % and I 49% for Tax purposes. I have a new court order where I have the children and they live with me in California. she still claims one of the children every year. This has been going on now for 6 years and I don’t understand why the IRS lets her get away from this. I can never file my taxes electronically I allways hae to mail them in. Her reason for doing this is that she still has the old court order and she is sticking to it. Please advise.
hi my babyfather went to do his income tax and they lady that did the taxes call him that same day to tell him that our 3 yr daughter was claim …how can we find out whos claiming our daughter?
I have been divorced since 2006. When my ex and I got divorced she had kids. 2008 we went back to court and i was awarded custody and have had them since. in divorce decree it says she can claim our daughter but in new custody order it was not. for 4 years she still keeps claiming our daughter and said she can. every year our return is sent back because she claims her. My wife now spoke to our tax lady and she said we can file an amended return but wants us to wait until end of tax season. Do I have a chance of winning? How far back can I file? My ex has not had a job so I think she had someone file our daughter as a dependent is that right??? Please let me know what I need to do. My ex does not pay anything and only choose to see kids a month and a half out of the year during the summer!! I asked her to stop and she just keeps talking about karma and laughs at my wife and I. My wife and I agree enough is enough.
Hey Nicole,
I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. And I don’t think your Mom has done anything wrong. I think your ex is being a bully and trying to scare you. That–on the other hand is wrong.
1. You new husband is the step father of your children. He has every right to claim them on your tax return. Even if you and your current husband get a divorce–he will still have a legal claim to the children. Your ex is just jealous.
2. You mother–while she was supporting you and the kids, had every right to claim the kids when she did. No problem there.
I honestly don’t know what will happen to your ex and his girlfriend. And quite frankly, I don’t care. You’re the only one that matters in my opinion and you’ll do just fine.
Hey Candiss,
What the IRS will look at is not the past 16 years–but what happened in 2011. So let’s start there.
First- it doesn’t matter how long your ex and his wife were married–since they were married–she is the step mother and if they filed a joint return then your daughter can be claimed by her.
Second–the next part is to determine how long your daughter stayed at your ex’s home. You list January, February, March, April, May, and two weeks in June–not quite six months–but if she spent summer vacation or two other weeks worth of time there–then they do have a legitimate claim.
It’s time for you to get out the calendar and really check how much time you had her for. And–if you can prove it. One of the big proofs is the school records–and it sounds like they’re going to have that.
I’m sorry because I don’t have any good news for you here. (Of course I think he’s a XXXX-head for trying to get you to pay him for taking care of his own daughter for a month, but that doesn’t really help you.)
If you count out the days, and you’ve got a case, then you can paper file your return–but from what you’re telling me, I’m thinking you might not have the calendar on your side. Sorry.
Hi Laura,
My ex and i has been divorced since Aug. 2010 it would have been sooner but he was in prison. I tried to file my return but it was rejected. My ex claimed our two children with his girlfriend but they filed married jointly. He said first come first serve. I am waiting for the audit papers to come in so that I can fill them out. Reading your post I am pretty sure that I am in the right and I will win. But my ex says that my new husband can not claim our children because they are not his.Is he right? My new husband and I filed married jointly. My ex and I have joint custody but the children primary resident is mine and the father’s is secondary.My ex lives 43 miles one way from my home and our oldest child school. My ex refuses to pay child support. He far behind, I just got a check 2 weeks ago from child-support.My ex says that all he has to do is show proof that he buys things for our children such clothes and shoes and food and etc. that’s his proof that he supports the children. Is my case still a win?My ex said that if I fight him on this, he will tell the IRS that my mother falsely claimed our children the past 3 years. I lived with my mother and didn’t work. My mother had provided support for our two children hence while the father was in prison. We lived in her home rent free and etc. In return I allowed her to claim the children in repaying her to allow us to stay there. Can he do that? Will my mother get into trouble? We have always been honest when filing our taxes.
I moved out in Nov. 2010. But the children have lived with me their whole entire lives including 2011. I have filed form 3949 A. in regards to my ex. Will this speed things up a little. I sent my papers for taxes on the 13th of Feb. From your post I gathered that I won’t see my money until June. Right?
Also, what will happened to my ex and his girlfriend?
My daughter wil be 17 this year in 2012, She has lived with me her whole life, but reently went to live with her father who is not ordered to claim our daughter on his taxes, He has not filed his own taxes in 3 to 4 years, because irs, send it to me for back child support that he owes. I filed my taxes as always , but receive an email from my tax ppl, stating that my child has already been cliamed. The father just recently remarried and the new wife claimed our daughter, my question is, in 2010 my daughter lived with them from late oct till the following year 2011, jan, feb, arch ,april may, and 2 weeks in June and has been living ith me since. The father and his new wife had only been married 2 months, then 2 months later my child moves back home to live with me . He has tried to make me pay him for the month she has staied with him, I did write a letter in Oct, 2010 that it would be best if my daughter lives with him to finish out the school year. But once school was out she returned home. My question is , how can new wife claim my daughter if they were only married 2 months and does she have this right to do so. There is set summer vacation times ordered, Father wants to be paid for summe and holidays. How can I fix this matter. I did file my taxes and will file any forms need to correct this. I just need toknow how the new wife can do this, did she file them bothas dependants, ?
Please any thing you can advise me is greatly needed.
My daughter has only lived with her father 24 months out of 16 yrs. he was order to pay child and medical support, and is in arreages over 20,000 maybe more now with interest, please help.
hopeless,
Candiss
Hey Laura,
Just because someone files first doesn’t mean that he has the right to claim a child on his tax return. It sounds like your daughter is the custodial parent and has the right to claim her child. If her ex filed first–it messes up her refund, but she can fight back by filing a paper return.
Hey Joyce,
As a parents that’s also paying college tuition, I really wish $77 a week would do the trick. Yes–definitely paper file your return. Now, you’ll want to check out about court ordered exemptions–http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2012/01/court-ordered-exemptions-and-the-irs/
As he may have some right to claim your son- so dot your i’s and cross your t’s to make sure you’ve got the winning case.
You really want to be able to claim the exemption because the person claiming the dependency exemption is also the one who gets to claim the education tax credit–and that can be worth up to $2500 for you. As the parent that pays the tuition–you really want that exemption.
Good luck. I’m pulling for you on this one, I feel your pain of the tuition payment.
my daughter has a 4 yr old and not married to the father- they were given joint custody- but the 4 yr old lives w/mom- father gets visitation everyother weekend, 2 weeks in summer. only paid support for ten months @50 $ a week- can he claim her totally, head of house hold etc…. i remember a co. said who ever files first is this the truth ?
Hi Sasha,
You ex will not be arrested for identity theft. The only way he’ll suffer is if you file a tax return claiming your child for yourself.
Hi Jan,
I am so aggravated right now, I can’t stand it! I have been divorced since 2000. I have 2 sons and they are now 19 & 21, they have always lived with me, I am the custodial parent. My ex has claimed my younger son for the last 10 years since the divorce decree stated that he can claim one child and I can claim one. It does not specify which one but he took it upon himself to claim our younger son. I told him back in June of 2011 via letter that I am claiming both kids this year since I provide well over their 50% support. He pays $154 per week for both kids (barely enough to feed them). They are both in college and guess who foots the bill solo for any expenses that are not covered by grants and loans. I pay all of their medical expenses and dental and vision insurance also.
He went ahead and claimed my younger son again this year. I am going to mail the return in because I have saved every receipt this year knowing he would still claim him. I even have every grocery receipt from this past year, all the clothing receipts and I have my cancelled checks showing I paid $14,000in tuition for the last two semesters.
I shouldn’t have to worry about this, right? If I prove my case this year, will that bump him from claiming him for subsequent years?
I don’t understand how you feel that you support your child for $77 per week and that should pay for college and everything else they need!
Hi Eric,
It does sound like you’ve got a tough situation. Here’s some things you need to know.
Since you were not married, you will be able to claim head of household for your filing status.
Since your ex earned no income, she doesn’t have anything to claim.
Since the children only lived in the grandparents’ home since September–the grandparents do not have a right to claim them.
Taxwise–you’ve got the winning case.
Going through a break up is difficult and when you’ve got children involved it’s heartbreaking. But you do have the higher legal claim on your taxes and you should go ahead and paper file–it’s your right. Good luck.
Hi Aaron,
I hate to say this, but, I don’t know. It sounds like you’ve got a case–the issue is–can you win or not. It seems to me that you could pull together enough proof for your case so it’s probably worth a shot.
But–let me fly this by you just for fun–okay maybe not fun but just for thinking.
How well do you and your ex get along? Could the two of your work together on this? Maybe see what’s best for everyone? It seems like you both have 50/50 custody–maybe splitting an exemption might be a good solution for you two. See this post: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2011/11/split-exemption-claiming-one-child-on-two-tax-returns-%e2%80%94-the-legal-way/comment-page-1/#comment-5500
I’m just concerned that playing “Aha” with the ex might be harmful to your child. Maybe you’re not doing that, but I just wanted to put that warning out there. You mentioned that she was a “party girl” so maybe she’s not going to be responsible about using the tax refund for your child–so I can see that as an issue too.
Anyway–I think you have a case–not sure if it’s winnable but I suspect you’ve been working on this and getting your ducks in a row (I need another euphemism) so you’re probably ahead of the game with that part. Personally, I’d recommend the split exemption route–but if she’s going to fight you on that–then I’d pursue paper filing. Worst case scenarior–the IRS says no. It’s not like you’re filing a fraud case–you’ve got a decent claim. (Note–if the IRS deems you to have exactly 50% of the time spent with your child–then the winner will be the one with the higher adjusted gross income.)
Hi Casey,
Because you’ve got custody–you are entitled to claim head of household (and if you qualify EIC.) Your decree gives your ex the right to claim the exemption and the child tax credit. So you do get some benefit to being the custodial parent even if lose the exemption because of the decree.
You might want to check out the post of Court Ordered exemptions, just in case: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2012/01/court-ordered-exemptions-and-the-irs/
Good luck.
Hey Justine,
Here’s the thing–you will never know if they received the money or not because of IRS confidentiality laws. But here’s something you should know: it’s illegal for your ex’s girlfriend to claim your kids! Here’s a link for you: http://www.flickr.com/photos/emileedavis/3508465015/
Just replace “boyfriend” with “girlfriend” and you’ve got the picture.
Now–what you need to do is to go and claim your children on your own return. They’re yours. They live with you. Right? You claim them.
Hey Colette,
As the rules stand now–there’s no way to prevent someone from filing a claim on your kids. You’re doing the right thing be filing a paper return and getting the process started. Do keep good records of how often the kids are at your house–that’s going to be important. I have a sneaking suspicion that you’re going to have to deal with this issue again. Sorry.
I think my ex claimed my child if it was him will he get arrested for identity theft?
Hello,
This ones been difficult for me me to deal with. I recently ended the engagement between my soon to be wife Alexandra. We have two girls, ages 2 and 4 months old. We broke up on the 7th of January 2012. We lived together all of 2011 she has never worked a day in her life, while I worked 2 jobs 60 plus hours a week. We moved three times last year due to her not getting along with neighbors. We lived at the three locations for about four months each, all in same state. I paid the rent the utilities, diapers wipes, pretty much everything. We moved into her Grandparents house in Septmeber 2011, I paid him rent for the upstairs portion of the house, we didnt have a lease or anything he ask that on every Friday I pay him a set amount. I still paid for all the food and everything, My Second daughter was born a month later in Mid October, I filled out partnity form with Alexandra to state i am the father, she never turned it in, so im not on her birth certiicate, but i am her father for sure. Long story short I was fighting with Alex alot and decided to move into my own place because I didnt like fight ing in front on the kids. I moved out the 14th of January 2012. I continued to pay her rent until she pulled a bogus restaining order out on me to get custody of the kids because she knew she feared that i was seeking full custody which I am. This blew up into a huge fight between me and her grandparents because after she pulled the temporary restraining order on me I stop paying Paul his weekly rent even through I wasnt living there, she wanted to not be with me and Alex wanted to do it on her own. I asked if I could have the Socials for the girls because I had to file my taxes since the girls lived with us all of 2011 and we didnt separate until 2012 i believe I’m entitle to claim them, but heres what happened she demanded she get all the tax return because she watched them while I was at work. I told her no, and that I would make sure the girls had money set away for there future and take care of some students loans I had, and buy a car. So she told her Grandpa Paul that i wasnt going to give her any money from my taxes which is almost a 9,000 dollars return I was expecting. So Paul and his wife quickly efiled there taxes claiming my girls while I had the temporary restraining order on me. The restraing order was dropped on the 7th of Febuary and order her to seek counsling for depression and that we split the kids 50/ 50 but i ll have to pay her child support since i make the money which i have no problem been paying for everything every since we met. So i finally get the Socials for my girls and efile my taxes on turbo tax, to find out my claim has been rejected. I tried calling a Paul to straighten things out and even went over to his house to talk to him after the 7th of Febuary to find out why he wanted to claim my girls, and he told me to file my taxes anyway and let the irs handle it. What are my chances and what kinda of proof should i get ready as I am mailing in my hard copy of my return with girls as my dependants tomorrow and, is what Paul and Diane illegal? i am a hard working single father now, and this is really stressful and tips or advice would be helpful.
Thanks
Eric B.
Tacoma Wa
Hey Jan Roberg! I NOW have 50% legal and physical custody of my son. Well, last year I had 45% for 4 months and the remaining 8 months I had 50% custody. So technically she only had him about 6 days longer than I did. BUT, I used my vacation with him last year and she didn’t (13 days) and I had him on my birthday and she didn’t (1 day). Also, I babysat SEVERAL times for her and she has her mom watch him ALOT while she is at work and when she goes out with her friends (she is a party girl). My question is, Can I claim him? I technically had him more than she did, all I have to prove it is a copy of my itinerary that I gave her for the vacation that I had with him. It just explains in full detail of where we will be, phone numbers and the time I have him till the time he goes back to his mom. OH YEAH, she also went to vegas for a week too and I had him that whole week. The only way I can prove that is she posted on her Facebook that she was going to Vegas for a week. Hmm, maybe I can print that or something. Anyways, can you give me some information on this? Can I claim him even though she had him more than me “on paper”? I’m the one that pays for his pre-school, I’m the one that paid for his dental surgery and I’m the one that provides his health insurance and life insurance.
Thanks for your time! I’ll check back periodically to see if you responded! THANKS!!!!
Aaron Hill.
Hi Maggie,
If you don’t file a tax return you’re not really being harmed so I’m not positive on why you’re upset at your ex for claiming your child. But if you were filing taxes you’re the custodial parent you can claim head of household and also you can claim EIC. You’re ex can only claim an exemption and the child tax credit if you allow him but if you’re not filing a tax return there’s no harm no foul so preventing something from happening in the future date you don’t know if you’re going to do that or not it’s not making a lot of sense right now I would just let it go.
My exhusband told my 16 year old last year that he didn’t want for him to live with him (we have joint custody), he didn’t ask me if that wasy okay, but of course i was going to take him.
Since I had my son more than six months last year I took the deduction this year for him even though our divorce decree says we are suppose to rotate years and it was my exes year to use the deduction. I supported our child more than six months – shouldn’t i be entitled to that deduction according to IRS law?
hello, so my exboyfriend’s girlfriend claimed two of my children in 2011 and well there saying the irs did not give them the money.. they are also sayin that the irs has asked for certain paper work and if they have enough prove then theyll recive payment in 2011.. but is there anyway of me finding out if they recived it? because they did not take care of my children ever..
Hi Lorie,
I’m still here I’m just kind of tied up with tax returns right now. Sorry this is a little slow.
Anyway this is what you need to know: You are the custodial parent. Your child lives with you. That’s important to know.
When the court granted your ex the right to claim your child on his tax return, they only granted him the right to claim the exemption and the child tax credit–that’s kind of like his little prize for paying child support.
You, Lorie, as the custodial parent–you keep the right to claim the head of household filing status and the earned income tax credit. (I find that claiming head of household helps with the financial aid department of many schools.)
You’re in a situation where you “split” the exemption. Here’s information about how to do that legally: http://robergtaxsolutions.com/2011/11/split-exemption-claiming-one-child-on-two-tax-returns-%E2%80%94-the-legal-way/
Hope that helps. You don’t need a lawyer for this–your case is good in IRS eyes.
Hi Miranda,
I don’t know of any law that lets you claim a kid that you haven’t had custody of for 18 years. The only possible reason I can think of is if she’s paying the girl’s tuition. (There’s a different post where a family made an agreement because of free tuition–that made lots of sense.) But other than something like that–I think you need to paper file your return and claim your step-daughter.
Hey Missy,
the important question is will you get your rightful refund? And I think the answer is yes. Everything else is irrelevant. I know, it doesn’t seem that way, but you’ll never be told what happens with your ex (unless he tells you–and who knows if he’ll tell you the truth.)
Here’s what I’m concerned about–did they tell you to mail in your tax return? That’s what you really need to do. The 3949A is just reporting him for fraud, which is okay–but you won’t get what’s yours without filing your 1040. So, if nothing else, you must file a 1040 tax return to claim your daughter. Mail it to the IRS, that will get you more action (in my opinion) than the 3949A. If nothing else, the 1040 is the only way to get your refund.
I have 2 children with my ex and I have been seperated since Jan 2010 and were force to claim marriedfiling jointly as to get as much of a return as possible for that year.when I filed for divorce in 2010 (which was defaulted because he didnt care to do the paperwork) I got sole physical custody and joint legal custodybut gave him 43% visitations. I was told by a family law Facilitator that if I fild for child support I would have to pay him 43 bucks a month for child support, but could claim both of my kids since I still have them more; if i let him claim one child he would have to pay me an est. of 29 bucks a month… in my mind I didnt see a benefit if I opened a case He helped out with buying them clothes and neccesities for school,so I didnt, while we were seperated I applied for foodstamps where I live and qualified .The the next year I claimed both children because I have them most of the time. He got mad and said I didnt have a right since we pretty much have them 50/50… I just told him that since he doesnt pay childsupport he cant, but this year he went behind my back and claimed my daugter anyway. I have already called and left messages to tlk about it and he wont return any of my calls. I have already sent my taxes in by mail and waiting for a letter back, but my question is even though I am the custodial parent is there a chance that he will do this next year except with my son? Is there anytthing I can do to prevent that? or just wait for the next year and do it all over again.
Again, I apologize for all the posting, but I also wanted to point out that she is unemployed as well and I have the higher adjusted gross. She has also gone behind my back when we were married and got my W-2 forms through my employers website on two different occasions and filed taxes without my consent and kept all the money. It has been a few years since then. The reason I didn’t report her to IRS is because I didn’t want her to go to jail and fear of what my kids would have though of me. However, now she continues to go behind my back and it feels like she is constantly stealing from me. Should I still report her to the IRS even though its been a few years? Again thanks in advance!
Sorry, but I remembered one last question…My ex agreed on the divorce that I can claim my son and because of that I have my W-2 form set up like I have a dependent. So when she goes behind my back and claims my son then I get stuck paying the IRS back taxes. Money I don’t have. Any Idea how I can protect myself from getting the ugly end of the stick? My ex is not the easiest when it comes to negotiating or coming up with a peaceful solution. Thanks in advance!
What if you have an agreement on the divorce saying that you get to claim the child? Also can you switch claiming kids every year even if the kids didn’t live with you? I pay a lot of child support so it would be nice to get some money back at the end of the year. Maybe wishful thinking, but it would be nice!
Hi! When we did the child support process they told me I was the custodial parent, & the father had the right to visitations.. I am somewhat confused because they never told me who had the right to claim the child, and my baby’s father said one year me & the other him. I’m mad right now because I just started to investigate about that & I think im the only one who can claim my baby since he only pays $30/wk & only sees her every other weekend, but he claimed her this year.. I’m not doing my taxes this year because i barely worked, but i dont know what to do so he doesnt keep doing it, & how do i let him know he had no right to claim her. Also, can i take legal accion about it? Someone said I can change my baby’s name on her birth certificate & SSN so if he tries again it wont let him, but i dont know if i still need his permission to change it anyways, since he’s paying child support.
Maggie, I’m sorry but your ex can’t claim head of household. It sounds to me like you’re still married–that makes him “married filing separate” and that is the worst tax status possible.
Here are two options–
1. Since you’re still married, file jointly–he’ll get a lower tax bracket and you’ll benefit from all the related child credits. (This will help him–not really help you.)
2. Split the exemption–you claim the head of household (no EIC because your income is too hig) and let him claim the dependency exemption and the child tax credit. He can’t claim the child care credit–that goes to the head of household which is you.
Since you’re using Turbo Tax, you can call up one of their tax specialists and she can talk you through all the different options and make sure that you’re doing everything legally. Good luck.
PS: congratulations on having one of the “good” exes. They do exist, and it’s nice to see parents working together.
I’m not sure if your still answering any questions on here but I’m crossing my fingers! This year I tried to e-file and my tax return was rejected because my ex claimed my son, he never lived with him but we do share joint custody and for some reason the judge said the he could claim him until i make $10,000 or more. However, I am not able to work full-time because I do attend school full-time and have a part-time job. I am going to send in my tax return because I don’t think it’s fair that he gets to claim him, my son lives with me the entire year and he doesn’t really do anything for him. My ex only pays about $172 a month for child support and other than that doesn’t really have any responsibilites with him. Do I have a strong case with the irs or am I going to have to get a lawyer? Hope to hear from you soon!
p.s I need to claim him because I receive financial aid for school and would not be able to pay for it other wise! Hope that helps
My husband nd his ex wife have a daughter, she isnow 20 and a full time college student. He has always had full custody of her since she was 2. This year we tried to file our taxes and they were rejected because his ex wife claimed her on her taxes. Is there anything we can do? Is she allowed to claim her now after 18 years of not having custody or rights?
My daughter’s father has barley worked in 5 years. I didn’t even know he took a job with a temp agency this summer so he could get a w2 to file taxes. My daughter lives with me and goes to school in my town. She visits her father from after school on Friday – Noon on Sunday and last summer the agreement was for her to see her dad from Thursdays at 12pm to Sundays @ 12pm. I filed my taxes on Feb 5th and they were rejected. After saying he didn’t claim her, I finally got the truth out of him and he DID claim her!! I contacted the IRS and they said I needed to fill out a 3949A and send it in. I don’t even receive child support from him. I work 2 jobs to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table. What are my chances that he will be punished and have to return the $3500 he recieved from claiming her? Thank you for any assistance/advice!
I just wanted to say a a quick thank you for the information and your time, I appreciate it greatly.
Thank you!
I have a question…..my ex and I have been separated for the last 4 years, I live in NY now and he still lives in PA in the house we once shared. In all fairness he pays the mortgage on the house and has always claimed the house in his taxes. We have never filed taxes together even when we were together. I claim my daughter as my dependent as she lives with me full time. The thing now is to be able to do things on his own and still be able to help out with my daughter he took on a second job which has been helpful. He does help me out with my daughter school and child care while I am at work and I go to school as well. because of his two incomes now he doesn not get much of a refund now. The question we both have is we do out taxes thru Turbo tax, is he able to put on his taxes the money he puts out for my daughter’s after-school care as well as medical coverage without getting into any trouble because I claim her on my taxes as my dependent. he files head of household I believe since he takes care of all the expenses on his house (mortgage, property tax, school tax, utility bills etc.) but currently has no dependents. I also file head of household ( I live separately from him ) neither one of us qualify for the EIC but I do get a child credit as well as what I pay for summer day camp and baby sitting and my educational expense. Is there a way where he can put the expenses he participates in regards to my daughters child care needs? He really is doing the best he can and does help me out with her unlike some of the stories I hear on this site and even went as far as getting a second job to do so since he knows of my additional expenses with my going back to school and taking care of my daughter. I feel bad because of taking on this second job to help him economically he is not getting back much on his returns even with claiming the house which in the past helped him out a great deal but since he is making more money now it almost has gone un noticed. What can be done in respects to his assistance in the support of my daughter and his filing? without either of us jeopardizing the other?
Thank you very much for your prompt answer
Hey there Amira,
I’m really trying to resist the urge to say “Take the money and run!” That’s not horribly adult now is it?
Anyway, I’m guessing you’re good here–but just to be safe–it’s worth making a phone call to the IRS and just following up–
“Hi, my name is Amira ______, I recently received my refund but I wanted to check to make sure my account is in the clear because my tax return had been rejected before. Is the issue resolved?”
I remember you writing before–you do have the legitimate claim so you’d win the audit anyway (in my opinion.) So I’m not horribly concerned that you’ll lose.
If the IRS doesn’t satisfy your curiousity when you call, just put the majority of the money into a savings account. Spend what you need to spend though–this is your money, but hold off on the Disney trip or whatever, just in case. (I know, like you were going to Disney World with it, but you know what I mean.)
Be happy! 🙂
Hi George–
You’re dealing with the IRS tie breaker rules for claiming your child. You’re both parents (tie-breaker one), you both lived with the child for the same amount of time (tie-breaker two), but you had the higher adjusted gross income–therefore you win tie-breaker number three. The deductions are yours.
Hey Lizzet,
You’ve pretty much got the right idea. Have your mom paper file and go from there. Your ex does not have custody so he can’t claim EIC. I don’t know about the dependency exemption –if he can claim that or not–but he cannot for sure have EIC.
Hey Ryan,
You wonder if I’ve ever known anyone with a problem like yours? You’re kidding right? This post has had over 16,000 views in the past 30 days. The one thing I can absolutely assure you of is that you are not alone! Nobody’s coming to look at this if everything is perfect on their taxes–that’s the one thing everybody here has in common–an ex claiming their kid.
So what can you do? Well for one thing–you are the custodial parent–that I’m pretty sure of. (I’m guessing your ex lied to her preparer, it’s not unheard of.)
My advice is to print out your tax return and mail it in. Be prepared for the audit like I wrote about above. It will take time, but if you get your proof together now, you should be okay.